Category Archives: How to make a man fall in love with you

Falling In Love With Your Man

Show Your Love! (And Make Your Man Fall Deeply In Love With You!)

If the way that you treat your partner is kind and loving, what you feel you’ve given out is so valuable and precious. But not just to you!  To your partner too, who will undoubtedly feel your love and begin to develop deeper feelings of love himself, towards you.

Rarely is a sense of falling in love founded on one person’s actions alone: it’s always due to a combination of kindness and love between two people. But when you haven’t dealt with your emotional wounds from childhood, you may not be the fully mature person you can be. These wounds are held in shadow, and require a form of therapy known as “shadow work” or “emotional process work” to resolve them.

So if you really want a man to fall in love with you, and you know that you love him very deeply and dearly, and that he is fundamentally the right person for you, then you may choose to work on your emotional issues and old wounds. This is what we call emotional baggage.

Only then will you be in a position to have a mature relationship free of anger, rage, grief, and general emotional anxiety.

One of the best ways to do this is to engage in shadow work which is a form of Jungian psychology or active psychotherapy, which allows you to access old wounds in a very quick and easy way. Often the work takes place in a safe group of people who are supporting you. This is a away in which the historical “recordings” that you have in your mind can be changed, so that you see yourself in a very different way. (And behave in a very different way!)

So, when it comes to falling in love, or indeed “making” a man fall in love with you, working on your shadow is an option to deal with emotional wounds that are preventing you from enjoying a relationship. You see, shadow work offers a whole range of practical techniques that you enable you to move forward into a new relationship. 

There are, of course, other approaches to this situation. This website has a lot of very useful advice about how to make a man fall in love with you. One of the best I’ve found is a “Relationship Recovery” program. This reveals how a man or woman may be responsive to a certain type of approach if you wish to have them fall in love with you.

That approach is not an emotional one, nor is it seduction, nor is it charm, nor is it whining and neediness. All of these are approaches used by people who want to be in relationship. But they do not usually lead to a long term relationship. 

Much more productive approaches can generate a sense of belonging, a sense of togetherness, a sense that actually your relationship is the right one. This is the view of the mature couple who can see living together as a good option which offers support, companionship, mutual respect, love, admiration, and so on. These are the values of humanity at its finest.

So what’s the basis of getting together? Well, modern psychology suggests that there are many different behavioral techniques that can get people together and help them to fall in love. 

In other words you’re not going to try and make a man fall in love with you because you believe that it’s going to be good for your ego. Nor are you going to do it because you feel lonely without a partner. Rather, you will actually believe that’s the best thing for both of you, in the long-term. This allows you both to enjoy natural personal growth and development, as well as increasing your happiness and relationship success.

I also want to write briefly about a program that is available on the Internet called Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever (essentially a relationship and dating advice site). Programs like this can be extremely useful in enabling people to build an intimate relationship which provides fulfilment and emotional satisfaction.

Capture His Heart has been reviewed very thoroughly in a number of places, and it has been applauded by everybody who has seen it. You may wonder what the qualifications are to write an Internet program consisting of online dating advice! Probably just about the same as the qualifications to write an Internet site offering advice on any subject! That is to say, you have some experience in the field, you can write well, you’re an intelligent individual, and you know what you’re talking about.

The people responsible for Capture His Heart (subheading – “and make him love you forever“!) are Claire Casey and Michael Fiore, who are experienced in the field of relationship advice and Internet programming. Together they have produced a very helpful and essential program which can enable people to build intimacy and enjoy happy and successful relationships.

Capture His Heart starts by offering insight for women into the behavior of men. It explains what makes men behave in the way they do, and what motivates them to pursue a woman so they can have a relationship.

Mike Fiore provides great emphasis on traditional gender roles, a viewpoint which may not be popular with feminists. But I think, like he does, that we are most fulfilled when we operate within the dictates of our genetic gender natureYou may not agree with thiss now, but I would suggest that after you’ve reviewed Mike Fiore’s program, Capture His heart and Make Him Love You Forever, you may well have good reason to change your mind!

He and his co-author, Claire Casey, have indeed broken down male behavior into its fundamental components. They offer an explanation of male psychology which is certainly one of the best available on the Internet. At least, that is, for women who want to have a man fall in love with them….

Now of course establishing a successful relationship is not just about understanding the behavior of the opposite sex. You also need advice on dating behavior, intimate relationships, dealing with your own emotional issues, and coming to understand your partner in a way that builds trust and intimacy.

The great thing about capture his heart and make him love you for ever is that it provides all this information in a simple form. You will readily understand this psychology of relationships as explained there. 

The short fact of the matter is that I don’t think you will find a better relationship advice program this one anywhere on the Internet.

Pleasuring Your Partner

How To Give A Sensual Massage To Pleasure Your Partner

Sensual massage is a wonderful process which can get you back in touch with the good feelings which you can enjoy from your body.

We tend to lose sight of the fact that our skin is the outermost and very sensitive covering of our bodies. We can use that fact to gain a lot of pleasure: being touched by our partners in a non-sexual way can be a very enjoyable experience!

Sensual massage implies that you are not focused on sex, that you are just going to enjoy the physical pleasure of being touched in a loving and gentle way by your partner.

This is very enjoyable, but it also reinforces the emotional connection between you and your partner. Such things can of course speed up a process of growing closer and even falling in love with each other. It can help in making you feel bonded, emotionally close and loving towards each other.

Sensual implies something that is non-sexual, non-genital, and that’s exactly how you can approach the practice of sensual massage.

Although this isn’t necessarily sexual, it’s definitely sensual: being able to give someone a relaxation massage is a wonderful skill. In the case of a lover can be wonderful prelude to sexual connection. 

There’s no shortage of books and classes on how to give someone a relaxing full-body massage, but here are a few basic tips:

  • A massage table makes things much easier for the person giving the massage, as well as more relaxing for the person receiving it. They aren’t that expensive.
  • Use almond oil, grape seed oil or similar as a massage base oil; any good health food or holistic shop should be able to offer a great selection of wonderful massage oils. Use a small squeeze bottle that won’t spill.
  • Don’t let your partner get cold: having a sheet on top of the massage table, while they’re lying underneath a second sheet and perhaps a thin blanket, is a good idea (they can stay mostly covered up except for where you’re working). Alternatively, you can crank the heat in the room way up, or more luxuriously yet put the massage table in front of a fireplace with the room lights dimmed. Mood is everything!
  • Confident touch is good touch.
  • For long gliding strokes down the back, lean into them a bit with your body weight rather than depending up upper arm strength: the result is smoother, and feels more reassuring to the person receiving the massage.
  • Particularly if your partner has long hair, or spends a lot of time on their feet, giving them a scalp massage or massaging their feet may provide an experience so pleasurable that it’s almost erotic – and no massage table is required.

In general, the feeling of relaxation you get after a good full-body massage from your partner isn’t that different from the feeling of relaxation you get after sex with your partner. In each case the body’s basic need for touch, which is a basic human need, is being satisfied.

It’s always important to exchange information so that you know what your partner is feeling, and what is good for them and what isn’t.

This communication doesn’t need to be extensive – it can be just be single words like good, harder, softer, slower, deeper, that’s good, and so on. This means the person massaging knows what to do and the person receiving is getting the experience they want.

If the person massaging is unsure about what they are doing, they can say: “How’s that?” By being more in touch with each other’s needs and wishes, the massage is more likely to be beneficial.

After you have had a few sessions, include the more sexual areas of the body – buttocks and breasts, but only by mutual consent.

As you progress, grow more comfortable about giving and receiving, and get to know each other’s bodies better, you can include the genital region. Again this is not compulsory, and remember all of the massage you give and receive is by mutual consent.

The objective is not to get sexually aroused – it’s about pleasuring each other through touch (and we don’t mean sexually pleasuring! No orgasms are involved – at least, not at this stage of the process!)

If you are receiving, then focus on receiving. Don’t let concerns about the comfort or convenience of the person massaging you affect how you enjoy this process – their comfort is their concern, and they can look after themselves.

You can keep your attention on your feelings, your experiences and the sensations you are receiving as they massage you.

If this doesn’t work for you, in the sense that you feel agitated when you are massaging your partner, it may be that you are focusing too much on their pleasure.

Try massaging them from your own viewpoint – in other words, do what feels good to you as the massager.

When you remove the pressure of pleasing your partner (especially if you have added pressure because you don’t know exactly what they want) and start thinking more about giving them what feels good, you are more likely to enjoy massaging, and give a better massage.

If you feel anxious, stressed, tired, distracted or grumpy, then it is probably not such a good idea to offer a massage nor to accept one. However, it’s possible that focusing on the massage will take you away from your concerns, and allow you to relax into a better frame of mind.

For the man who wants to pleasure a woman 

Being able to pleasure your partner develops her capacity to enjoy orgasms. It will allow you to experience sexual pleasure at the same time, too, which will lead her to a much richer enjoyment of sexual connection.

Being able to pleasure a woman reliably is obviously a desirable sexual skill for a man.

If you are willing to pleasure her instead of enjoy sex with her, this will increase the likelihood of her being able to focus on her own needs, rather than worrying about whether or not you are sexually satisfied!

At the same time, because you won’t be having sex, you don’t have to worry about whether or not you will be able to “give her an orgasm”.

The responsibility for her pleasure ultimately lies with her. However, culturally, men are conditioned to believe that somehow they are responsible for pleasuring a woman.

Furthermore, you will probably be surprised how much you enjoy the sensuous massage, which may just mean enjoying touch and physical closeness, not necessarily sex.

For the woman:

What are orgasms all about? Check out the function of the female orgasm here.

Make sure that you are whole-hearted about having your man enjoy pleasuring you, especially if you are sharing the experience with him. The fact that you aren’t having intercourse with him is a choice, and you need to be committed to that choice.

There is the possibility that he may not wish to pleasure himself. Men can often accept this situation just as it is, in other words, that not having intercourse and not having orgasms is acceptable for him – because he gets pleasure from seeing his woman fulfilled. This is a loving act!

However, if you are pleasuring your man to orgasm, it’s important that you feel happy and willing to do this, and that you’re not feeling pressured or coerced.  The short way to deal with this is for you to be genuinely happy to receive, knowing you can provide sexual pleasure for him, whatever form that takes, later. 

If you are truly happy and relaxed about doing this, completely lacking in resentment, and feeling pleased that he is getting pleasure in this way, your love for him may grow stronger.

To both of you:

The sensuous massage experience, both giving and receiving, are well worth incorporating into your life. Such physical contact through massage can provide added closeness and emotional connection between a couple. It certainly will enhance your relationship and deepen your love.

Make The Man You Want Love You!

If you’re wondering how to make a man fall in love with you, here are some simple techniques that can help him see how wonderful you are!

The Look of Love

Giving a guy the eye is the first step to indicating you’re interested in what he has to offer. (By the way, that’s true whether he’s making the move or you’re making the move.)

make a man love you

The female gaze always catches a man’s attention!

So if you want to make a guy fall in love with you, remember the saying that “the eyes are the gateway to the soul”. Indeed they are: a study by a Harvard professor back in the 1970s discovered that locking eyes with a man isn’t just an indication of interest – it’s a symbol of love. And this means that if you catch and hold a man’s gaze, you can make him feel a sense of intimacy, connection, even love, with you.

Apparently lovers spend around 75% of their time in conversation looking at each other, which is much higher – more than double – the amount of time non-lovers spend looking straight into each other’s eyes.

So it follows that if you spend time looking into a man’s eyes, you’re giving him an experience he’d have if he was in love with someone (you, maybe). That’s an association you can’t ignore! In fact eye contact is so important in making people fall in love that we’ll look at it in a completely separate post.

More Similar Than Different

Like I said above, one of the reasons people fall in love is because they have things in common. So if you focus on the ways in which you are similar to the man you love (or want to love), it’ll help you feel closer to him, it will certainly make him feel closer to you, and it might even make him fall in love with you!

Without knowing it, we all tend to mix with people who have similar interests and backgrounds – even people with similar facial expressions. You see, it’s been demonstrated that people use facial appearance as a way of assessing personality and deciding whether or not somebody is like them. This shows how strongly we are programmed to seek out those who are compatible with us.

So the more you can make a man feel he is in the company of someone who understands him and has similar interests, the more attracted he’ll be to you. We all prefer people who are similar to ourselves.

similarity breeds love
We all prefer to be in the company of people who are similar to ourselves.

The thing is, though, in your efforts to get a man to love you, don’t go completely over the top here, and start pretending to be interested in something that fascinates your man, when in fact you find it utterly boring!

You need to be genuine, and maintain a balance between trying to please a man and show your interest in what he does, and maintaining your own identity. Of course, you could always invite him to try the things you’re interested in. You might both learn something new and exciting!

Spend Time Together

It seems like a cliché, doesn’t it? But spending time together really can be a catalyst for developing mutual interest and affection – if not outright love.

The old saying “familiarity breeds contempt” only really applies if you don’t like someone in the first place; and if a man doesn’t like you, or want to spend any time with you, you’ll sense that straight away. (You wouldn’t waste your time, would you?)

And presumably if a guy’s interested in spending time with you, the more time he spends with you, the better the chance of love growing!

Having said that, you all know one of the “feminine wiles”, one which has been recommended many times: to keep a man hungry for you – in other words, to ration the number of times you see him, and to fill your life with your own interests which can occupy you (for example – your friends and family).

This “limiting” isn’t the kind of petty game-playing described in that popular book The Rules a few years back – which were basically nothing more than manipulative strategies – it’s about piquing a man’s interest by being a little less available than you previously were.

I think all women know this is provocative, and will make a a man redouble his efforts to win you over – it’s one of the oldest interactions in romantic relationships between a man and a woman. And if a guy really likes you, he’s going to love chasing you and seducing you.

make-aman-love-you (56)

Men Want To Be Appreciated for What They Can Do

And the way you can use this to your advantage when you’re learning how to make a guy want you is to ask him for help.

Almost anyone feels better when they help someone else solve a problem, but men particularly like to do this because it’s a basic male “program”: men are fixers, problem solvers, and advisers by nature.

If you give a man the opportunity to demonstrate those skills, from something as small as opening a jam jar to shifting a bed, to something major like fixing your broken down car, he’s going to develop a warm feeling towards you. At least, he is if you appreciate him and respect him for it. Respecting a man is key to making him fall in love with you.

And really, no matter how fiercely independent you want to be, or how feminist you feel about the idea of a woman’s problem being solved by a man, the truth of the matter is that this helps both of you to feel better, and it deepens the sense of connection between you.

Be Confident and Powerful

As a strong independent woman, you know the value of being confident and powerful in a world that even nowadays is mostly run by men.

And interestingly enough, most men don’t want a woman who’s needy or dependent. What they want is a confident woman who can stand on her own two feet, is strong and confident, and won’t collapse into a snivelling heap at the first sign of trouble.

(Sure, some guys like needy women, as you know, but that’s probably more about needing to feel needed than anything else,  which is completely different from the satisfaction of being able to solve a problem!)

If you’re interested in nabbing a man who is as confident as you are, then act confident and you’ll be very attractive to him. In fact, I’d say this is probably one of the things that will make a man fall in love with you quickest.

Make Each Other Feel Great

If you leave someone feeling great and you feel great yourself, you’re well on the way to wanting to be with them all the time. One of the best ways to develop these feelings is to share laughter. You probably know that.

But what you might not know is that men feel great when they make a woman laugh – it’s a real self-esteem thing for a man to be able to amuse a woman and make her laugh.

So, laugh with him and you’re well on the way to having him fall in love with you.

Happiness, laughter and love are closely related
Happiness is everything – laughter a close second when it comes to falling in love.

Where Does Friendship Come into This?

A question for you: what would be the best basis for a good relationship – a loving relationship – for you?

Would it be where the man is demonstrating all he knows about how to please you? (After all, some men do spend their lives trying to find out how to please a woman!)

Would it be where you’re emotionally dependent on your man, and love takes the form of needy dependency?

No, of course it wouldn’t be anything of the kind! It would be a relationship where your partner is your best friend – a trusted, loving companion, with whom you can share anything, and with whom you can communicate openly and honestly.

This is where all those books like The Rules and The Game fall flat on their faces, so to speak! They’re just full of manipulative strategies, such as playing hard to get, teasing a man, feigning interest in the things that he likes to do, and more, all of which may build a kind of temporary interest and perhaps even a sort of love, but in the long term are destined to fail because there is no substantial basis to the relationship. This is not the way to make a man fall in love with you! 

So if you don’t know what friendship is, here are some clues: being supportive, listening to him without criticism or judgment, making him laugh, helping him to feel good about himself and life in general – in short, being a trusted and trustworthy companion.

These are things that will make a guy fall in love with you. (And in fact, they just as true for teenagers and older people – so if you’re a teenager reading this, and you want to make a boy fall in love with you, the same things are true for boys as they are for men!)

Fact: the more a man values you, the more he’s going to love you.

But What Does Love Mean?

Hopefully you have some clear ideas for yourself about what falling in love, wanting to fall in love, and being in love with a man means for you.

But bear in mind that no matter how attractive you find him, if you don’t actually love him, why would you expect him to love you back?

Sometimes people mistake “needing” or “wanting” someone with “being in love” with them. Not knowing what love is? Yes, it’s common enough not to understand love: many people don’t really know how to make a man fall in love with them because they don’t really know what love is.

In the course of counseling hundreds of clients over many years, I’ve come across a lot of people who don’t really understand the meaning of love, who are not sure that they’ve ever actually experienced it.

do you know what love is?
Love and sex are inseparable – but do you really know what love is?

So if you’re in that situation, ask yourself how you really feel about the man you want to love you.

Do you value him and appreciate that he’s in your life – not because of what he can do, but because of who he is? Do you accept him without judgment or criticism?

Men hate being judged, just as women do, so a woman who is constantly offering her negative opinions about what a man does (and who he is) will not induce many feelings of love!

The ultimate test of love is really all about friendship. If you want to know how to make a man love you, do you think he could be your best friend too? Someone who will not only fall in love with you, but who you can rely on as well to be with you?

If you’re not clear about the answers to those questions, then have a think about whether or not you want to be loved without being willing to love somebody in return yourself.

Love Yourself

And it follows, therefore, that what you might well need to do before trying to get a guy to love you, or fall head over heels in love for you, is to truly learn to love yourself.

That’s so important – we will have another post on this very soon, but meanwhile, ask yourself: do you think of yourself as really worthwhile, as good enough for the man you’re trying to seduce? Do you see yourself as equal to him? In fact, do you see yourself as an extremely valuable prize which he deserves to have?

If the answer to any of those questions is “no”, then perhaps you need to appreciate the good things about yourself more, and developer a higher self-esteem. This isn’t about you looking good, feeling fine, or being in with the “in-crowd” – it’s about how you feel about yourself at the deepest level.