The Internet is full of information about why men fall in love with women, but I thought I’d offer you a perspective from a male point of view.
So here’s a post from counselor and therapist Rod Phillips, with his views about how you might make a man fall in love with you – or at least help a man to see that you really are the right girl for him!
1: Loyalty and Love Go Together
And loyalty isn’t just about the sexual aspect of life.
Loyalty and faithfulness go well beyond sexual faithfulness into the times when a man isn’t as powerful as he normally would be.
When he’s ill or in some kind of trouble, more than anything he’ll looking for his partner to stick by him, no matter what the temptations other men might throw in front of her. He’ll be looking for her support until he is back on his feet, both psychologically and physically.
2: Openness and Honesty – A Route To Love
Nothing perplexes a man more than when a woman cries or sulks and won’t say what’s wrong, or tries to hide the fact that something is wrong. (Especially when her anger or sulkiness is manifestly showing all over her face and in her demeanour.)
This comes down to a high level of emotional intelligence. And part of that is having the good sense to know that manipulating a man by means of emotional trickery is a pathway to disharmony.
The best way to deal with a man who you want to love you is a straightforward approach where you say what’s wrong, say what you need, and ask for support clearly and directly.
Interestingly enough, when a girl does this, a man may fall even more deeply in love with her and want to meet her needs as best he can. You have to understand that nothing upsets men more than a woman who’s manipulative with her own emotions and disrespecting of his feelings.
3: A Pleasant Nature
When a woman’s appreciative, when she hears her man say how pretty she is, how delightful, how good-natured, or even how sweet she is, she takes the compliment to heart, opens her heart, feels closer to her man and proud to be on his arm.
In return, he feels his masculine sense of self being empowered, so he’s grateful to have her as his partner, he’ll treat her like a queen, and protect her in every way he can.
When she shows her sensitivity and her desire to help those who are less fortunate, he will listen carefully to her and if there’s anything he can do to support her, he’ll find a way to do so.
You see, by being vulnerable herself, and emotionally open, and by being ready to support her man when he feels emotional himself, he is given permission to show his own feelings and ask for support from her.
In this way, a couple will become more emotionally open so they can exchange their deepest thoughts and feelings. And oddly enough, this in turn will help a man exhibit his masculine strength and protectiveness towards his partner, just as she wants him to do.
A woman who has the capacity to avoid grudges when a man does or says something which hurts her is likely to be a woman whom a man can love deeply.
The thing is, most men are not really emotionally literate, so a woman who can forgive her man his transgressions, most of which will be unintentional and done out of insensitivity rather than a desire to hurt, will soon have a man who’s thanking his lucky stars he’s got a partner who so kindly compassionate. And from there to admiration, and from admiration to love, is but a short step…
Furthermore, when a woman does forgive a man and continues to love him, he’s really got no choice but to face up to his attitude, his actions, and his behavior, which means he can then do what men are good at: fixing the problems so his relationship improves even further.
5: Being Supportive
This means understanding your man, it means being alongside him in his hour of need, it means encouraging him, and more than anything else, it means respecting him.
And more than anything else, respect is what a man wants form a woman. Once he has it, he will fall in love more easily than you can imagine.
6: A Good Listener
Men want a woman to listen to them when they are ready to talk about their problems.
Ideally, a man is looking for a woman who is going to be empathic and compassionate, who listens carefully, avoids criticism and judgment, and can be trusted with a man’s innermost secrets – especially around sex.
Keep in mind that men rarely reveal their deepest thoughts and feelings, so a woman who can suspend judgment, be accepting, tolerant, compassionate, and yet at the same time empathize with a man who’s sharing deep and personal stuff (most likely stuff he would never tell anybody else), is a woman with whom a man is going to fall in love very quickly.
7: Her Expectations Are High
If a woman’s ambitious for a man, she will stay alongside him when he fails, tell him that he has to “man up” and meet the challenge and go back into battle and defeat his enemies, no matter what form they take, and motivate him to be the best he can possibly be.
And if she’s doing this gently and calmly, making clear how important it is to her, she’s going to build her man up and he will respond by trying to be the best he can possibly be.
In other words, behind every good man there’s a good woman. Behind every great man, there’s a great woman.
8: She Has Her Own Life
Keep in mind that what makes a man fall in love with a woman is probably not what makes a woman fall in love with the man.
Since we’re interested in what will make a man fall in love with a woman, and in particular how to make a man fall in love with you, let’s just check off a few more important points.
First and foremost a man isn’t interested in a woman whose entire existence depends on him and what he’s doing. (Not unless he is a complete narcissist, in which case any sensible woman would be running a mile.)
Truth is, men love women who have a life of their own – in other words, women who have their own interests, their own social circle, and who can live happily without a man at their beck and call.
A man knows that a woman who respects herself doesn’t want to be with a man who will drop everything every time he gets a text message from her, change his diary and arrangements to suit her, and is desperately waiting for every phone call she cares to make.
A strong man knows that the way to a close relationship is to be two separate people who understand each other, respect each other, and are independent. In other words – don’t be needy. It’s a massive turn-off for most masculine, caring men.
Sure, some men, whose self-esteem comes from being needed, like a needy woman. But really…. what a way to build a relationship! Mutual dependency is no basis for a man to fall in love with a woman.
Furthermore, if you don’t give yourself easily to a man, he’s going to know that you’re worthy of his companionship and love. He’ll sense that while you respect him, you also respect yourself just as much.
He’ll know you’re not dependent on his presence for entertainment, nor his suggestions about what to do for ways to fill your life.
And please note: this isn’t about “playing hard to get”. It’s about simply having a life of your own that demands time and attention separate from your man.
And also, the same is true in reverse – if you want to make a man fall in love with you, please don’t answer his text messages the minute they arrive, unless you genuinely have nothing else to do. Wait until the next break in your day, and then answer him. Don’t hang on him as though your life depended on it….
Remember that the excitement of a relationship, and the likelihood of falling in love, will be increased by individuation rather than merging (except, perhaps, in the first early months of a new relationship when nothing seems as wonderful as your beloved).
9: She’s Ready to Try Excitement
Many studies have demonstrated that men and women who share activities which have an element of danger, with an adrenaline rush, tend to fall more deeply and more quickly for each other than if they spend time together doing the conventional things like movies and dinner.
I don’t mean to say having dinner together isn’t a rewarding experience. Rather, sharing experiences which take you over your comfort zone can be a more powerful tool to make a man fall in love with you.
Just think about the thrill of rock-climbing, skiing, mountain biking, or some other exhilarating pastime, and think how you feel after sharing your experience with your partner, perhaps compared to going to the movies together. Get it?
10: She’s Willing to Be Intimate
Intimacy is knowing somebody at a deep level.
There’s no question that people fall in love faster when they have shared their deeper thoughts and feelings.
One psychologist did an experiment in which people who didn’t know each other sat down together and exchanged personal questions and answers. After they’d done that, they looked in each others’ eyes for four minutes – and lo and behold, guess what?
They didn’t exactly fall in love, but they felt very intimate and connected. There’s no question that shared intimacy, which comes from opening up the deeper parts of yourself, can be a way to encourage a man to fall in love with you.
Want to know how to make a man fall in love with you? Well, these are the qualities which will make a man fall for you faster than any other: in essence, mature, balanced men want a woman with a high level of emotional openness and trust, one who will respect them without making judgments, one who will support and challenge them.