Women, Men and Love:
Is it really possible to make a man fall in love with you?
Yes, provided you start by making him like you. Liking is always the best foundation for love, so you can definitely give yourself a head start by “helping” your man to see how likeable you are.
How you behave, what you say, and how you interact with your man will all influence whether or not he likes you. And if he likes you, then play your cards right and he might just fall head over heels in love with you!
Let’s start at the point where you’ve met a man you fancy, maybe you’re crazy about him; whatever, you’re certainly hoping he’s going to fall in love with you.
Before we go any further there’s something really important to remember: being false, trying to be someone that you’re not, or using manipulative strategies might get a guy to fall for you in the short term. But in the long term, your relationship is going to be doomed because eventually he will discover the real you, and it won’t be the person he thinks he fell in love with.
So let’s get going – keeping in mind that you can’t force a man to fall in love with you. That’s a myth. But don’t despair!
What you can do is to encourage him to fall in love with you, to motivate him to fall in love with you, and even entice him to fall in love with you.
It’s been said that the top three things men want in a relationship are sex, affirmation, and partnership.
I’m not sure I completely agree with that! What a man wants in a long-term relationship more than anything else are appreciation, respect, friendship, and sex – in that order.
Other things he’s looking for include a woman he can trust, a woman who’ll support him, and a woman who he can love, support and help.
(Don’t underestimate how important it is to a man to feel he’s doing something supportive or helpful for a woman. It’s deep in the male genes.)
You see, it’s a mistake to say that sex is always the most important thing for a man….. but I will admit, as a man, that it’s near the top for most of us. And you will probably have hear that sex opens a man up to his love. We talk about that idea on this page of the site.
I’d also say that almost all men like the thrill of the chase – wooing and seducing a woman until she surrenders, gives herself to him.
Skeptical? Well, whether you think that’s true or not, it seems reasonable that as a species we would be genetically programmed like this. Almost every animal species requires the male to “work hard” at displaying his good qualities before the female will mate with him. You can read more about that idea lower down this page.
Sidebar: Maybe you shouldn’t have sex on the first date after all! When you make him work for it, he’ll value the reward, and you, more highly if he’s invested some effort in getting it.
Anyhow, here are some steps you can take which will probably make a man like you – and remember that’s the first step to making him fall in love with you.
Make A Man Love You – Step By Step
Step 1: Respect What He Says & Does
We know a woman’s most desired wish in a relationship is to be cherished above all else by her man.
And a man’s most desired experience in a relationship with a woman? To be respected by her.
Nothing makes a man feel more appreciative of a woman than her respect.
And nothing diminishes a man’s self-respect, and along with it, his feelings of attraction and affection for a woman, more than her dissing him.
So what constitutes disrespect?
Well, for example, if you don’t appreciate his efforts when he’s offering to help or support you, or you don’t take him seriously, he will definitely think you don’t respect him.
Another thing some women seem to do (at least if what I hear from the men I work with is anything to go by!) is to respond with a kind of “knee-jerk” negative response to a man’s suggestions or ideas.
They somehow seem to point out the negative rather than positive things about what he does. So if you habitually find yourself saying things like “that won’t work…” or “you can’t do that…” then try to become more positive.
Think for a few seconds before you respond. Make the effort to understand where a man’s coming from when he offers a suggestion or an idea.
Whatever the reason for your negative response – pessimism, fear, habit, laziness – a positive response, or at least a response which considers the options carefully, is much more positive and attractive to a man.
And remember that listening with your full attention, while making an effort to understand what a man is saying, and why he’s saying it, is not the same as agreeing with him. You’re entitled to your own opinion, and there’s no need to diss his.
In essence, at a deeper level, respect is all about NOT judging a man for what he does or says. It’s about appreciating the fact that he’s offering something of himself to you.
Whether he’s offering his assistance, his problem solving ability, his ideas, his creativity, or anything else, treat it with respect, even if you don’t want it or agree with what’s being offered or suggested.
(What do you think about the idea that respect is more important than love in a relationship?)
Step 2: Look Your Man In the Eyes
If you look a man in the eyes and appear interested in him, perhaps smiling at him while he talks to you, he will really begin to feel you understand him and care about him, which will deeply impact him, making him feel much warmer towards you. This is of course another good foundation for feeling love towards you.
You see, researchers at the University of Chicago did an experiment on a group of men and women undergraduates. They provided each group of men and women with photographs of members of the opposite sex.
First of all they asked the participants to look at the photographs and describe their sexual responses to the people in the pictures.
Then there were given photographs of another group of people and asked to think about whether or not they were feeling love or lust towards them.
Well, guess what? It seems that when people are thinking about love, they look at someone’s face, and in particular their eyes.
In fact there’s plenty of evidence that mutual eye gazing is a definite sign of intimacy and indicates the possibility of romantic love. Bottom line? If you want a guy to like you, and possibly even to love you, then gaze into his eyes.
And, by the way, if he’s spending more time looking into your eyes than at your butt or your breasts, he’s probably beginning to feel affection, liking or even love for you.
Step 3: Touch Him
You can show a man how interested you are in him with your body language.
If you’re sitting near a man, use your body language to suggest you’re open to him (you know – emotionally open – interested – wanting to know more). And you can also touch him gently on the arm, leg, shoulder, hand, back or indeed anywhere else non-sexual.
When you do this naturally and easily, a deeper connection will rapidly develop between you. So remember – eye gazing and touching are two great ways to communicate your love for a man, and to help him fall in love with you, or at least to help him get in touch with his feelings.
Step 4: Laugh A Lot
A couple who can laugh together are a couple who can sustain each other through difficult times.
If you can transform stress to laughter, you have a great gift – the gift of using shared humor to reinforce the bond between the two of you.
And although it probably doesn’t need to be said, please don’t laugh at your man unless he’s made a joke. (Refer to Step 2 above if you want to know why.)
Step 5: Surprise Him
When you do something a little bit out of the ordinary or unexpected, your man’s going to feel really appreciated.
I mean, you know how you feel when you get a love note left in your underwear drawer after your beloved’s departed for work, don’t you?
So why not return the favor for him? It doesn’t have to be something complicated. A simple post-it note on the bathroom mirror in the morning with a smiley face or a love heart on it might be more than enough.
And a note, a card, or any kind of unexpected gift, accompanied by a note showing you love and care about him, or that you’re thinking good thoughts about him will definitely make him feel warm towards you. (Obviously what you say in your note will depend on how far your relationship’s advanced!)
Step 6: Be Caring
Another aspect of respect is behaving kindly and caringly towards each other.
Being thoughtful, showing gestures of appreciation and politeness, offering frequent thank you’s for what’s been done, and apologies when something’s been done wrong, can make a relationship feel sweet and safe to be in. And such things are a great foundation for helping two people to fall for each other.
Please don’t use these as psychological tricks to try and make a man fall in love – let them be genuine expressions of care for another person.
Step 7: Devote Time to Each Other
There are plenty of scientific studies which show that one of the most powerful factors which helps people to fall in love is physical proximity – simply being geographically or close to each other in location (e.g. living in the same area, sleeping in the same dorm, and so on).
And it stands to reason that you can’t be close to each other if one of you is working all day long and too tired in the evening to enjoy a good relationship. How long for a man to fall in love? In essence, the less often you see each other, the longer it takes for him to love you.
Which brings us onto our next point: you have to put time aside for each other.
How much time you put aside depends on your schedule, but the rule is very simple: the more time you spend together, the better.
Have a date night, or a check-in on a weekly basis, where you can talk about what’s going on between you.
You’re aiming to spend time together to experience the warmth and pleasure of being with your partner.
That way, you’ll want to celebrate and appreciate him – and when you do that, you’ll feel closer, more loving, and the chance of having a long-term, loving relationship is much greater.
Step 8: Act Like His Partner
Loving partners don’t quarrel – or at least, if they do, they do it in an intelligent way with respectful communication.
But more than anything else, they focus on the fact that they are partners, that they’re working together.
They’re not competitors, and they’re not avoiding each other for any reason.
Remember: you’re in this thing with him, and if your plan works out, you’ll be in it with him for a long time to come.
Step 9: Let Him Know How Much You Appreciate Him
Sure, sometimes it can be difficult to take the time to say the words our partners want to hear.
But really, once you get into the groove, it’s easier than you might imagine: “You know, I feel really lucky to be with you.” “I’m so glad I met you, because I feel very warm towards you.” And so on.
Comments like these go a long way to cementing a relationship, and help a man work out how he feels about you. So it’s always going to be helpful to tell him directly about the positive qualities you see in him, and how you feel about him. And if or when you say you love him, he will immediately ask himself if he has fallen in love with you.
Keys To Making Love Work
But one thing that you have to remember above all else is that there actually isn’t some magic process that will instantly make a man fall in love with you.
You could even take the view that if two people were meant to fall in love, then they would do so. Which means of course that if two people are NOT meant to fall in love, then they won’t. However, the whole basis of our theory of how to get a man to love you is to ensure that you do the things that make love most likely – indeed even probable.
In short, you can do many things to ensure that the right relationship has every chance of succeeding.