What Makes Men and Women Fall in Love?

Falling In Love Again….

I came across an interesting article on Oprah.com about what makes a man fall in love with a woman, written by Akhil Sharma, author of Family Life: A Novel.

If you’re a woman wanting to know how to make a man fall in love with you , this could be useful advice!

Akhil makes some really interesting points, in a down-to-earth way, about what makes a man fall in love with a woman, and I’m going to describe them here – I think they’re very useful to anyone who is looking for advice that goes beyond the banal standard stuff (such as “look good, dress well, and wear nice perfume”).

The first point he makes is the fact that his future wife was nothing like him in physical appearance, and perhaps, by the standards of his culture, nothing like the kind of woman he’d expect to fall in love with. Racially, she was from completely different origins – white Anglo-Saxon. Akhil is Indian in origin.

This is interesting in itself, because I think most men who are genuinely honest would admit they have fallen in love with a woman who didn’t attract them physically, or at least not very much. And the reason? Because the woman was a really loving, caring person.

physical appearance and love
Love may or may not be about physical appearance…..

In Sharma’s case, his future wife told him about a woman who’d acted deviously, manipulatively and dishonestly to get a promotion at work; yet she didn’t focus on these qualities, but on the fact that this woman was a very good mother to her kids.

His conclusion? His future wife was a kind person who’d be kind not just to him, but also to others – and when you think about it, that’s got to be good not only for the relationship, but for humanity as a whole! Again – a useful clue if you’re a woman who wants to know how to make a man want to marry you, perhaps!

Signs That A Man Is Falling In Love

Akhil is really taking a sideways approach to the idea of falling in love and what makes a man fall in love with a woman when he describes how his future wife said to him as they were walking through a park on a date: “Tell me something boring about you.”

Amazing! He says this question produced an enormous sense of relief – because he could interpret this as meaning that she wanted to know him as the real man he was, not just the “mask” or face he put on to fulfil a social or work role.

And he’s right: asking your partner about the finer details of their life – and the finer details of who they are – is a great way to make them feel wanted, a great way to make them feel you’re interested in them.

After all, understanding and exploring the meaning of your life with someone is one of the basic aspects of being in a relationship with them, let alone being in love with them.

Video – How To Feel Love For A Man Forever (And Get It Back)

You might find this next idea harder to put into practice: he recommends that prospective husbands, wives and partners talk about work.

I know a lot of people who find their partner’s work boring – and I know even more people who find their own work boring! When they arrive home from work, they probably want nothing more than to relax and forget about the day job.

But think how much time both you spend at work. It’s a major part of everyone’s life….

Akhil seems to have had an advantage here, in that his wife worked at Planned Parenthood, which was a very interesting job, I assume, but I’m sure that you can do the same thing for anybody, even if their work is boring…. because taking an interest simply means expressing your interest in that person’s experience of life.

You see, all of us want to know that the man we love, or the man you want to love you, actually cares about us.

What next? Another interesting idea: he suggests you, the woman, grab your man’s hand and pull him along with you when you want to get somewhere fast.

Although the event he describes was about running towards a car where his future wife was about to get a ticket for illegal parking, the point is that any of us will feel special and wanted when somebody clearly demonstrates they can’t do without us by taking us by the hand and pulling us with them – even if it’s just through a shopping mall.

The point being, perhaps, that underneath everything else, it says “I really love you and having you go along with me really matters.”

empathy promotes love
Talking, sharing, and empathizing is vital in any relationship…..

People in long-term relationships often forget about the importance of having dates during the daytime. Yes – daytime dates – it’s a revolutionary idea, isn’t it?

Remember, when you’re falling in love with a man, or indeed, when you’re trying to find out how to make a man fall in love with you, the guy you fancy as your future partner is probably going to fall in love with you more quickly if he sees more of you – so why not go out on dates during the day instead of just going out together at night?

And what a clear sign of your love it is. Suppose your relationship was on the rocks. Surely this would be enough to make your husband fall in love with you again, don’t you think?

You see, dating at night –  and always making it something special – may give you a false sense of what life’s going to be like with a man. And do you really want to fall in love with a man – or have a man fall in love with you – on the basis of a mutual misunderstanding?

Of course you’re trying to make him want you, perhaps you are trying to make him to fall in love with you, but the more he sees you in your everyday world, the more he’s going to know if he will appreciate and like you on a full-time basis!

And keep in mind also, that the more time you spend together during the day, the more real your relationship will feel. (And the faster he may fall in love with you.) It’s like practicing for the real thing!

The next suggestion Akhil makes is to volunteer together. I completely get this – if you volunteer for something like cleaning up the local riverbank or park, and you invite the guy you want to want you, he’s going to be intrigued.

how to make a man fall in love with you
When it comes to relationship, sharing time is a great idea for exploring each other’s moral values

And this is going to be a great way of introducing other subjects which will help you understand and get to know him better – such as, what’s his attitude to this kind of work? Does he feel socially responsible? Does he share your view of the world?

This kind of shared time allows you to explore some of the deepest deep values a man holds. Why does this matter? Well, the more your chosen man shares these core values with you, the better.

Psychologists have shown us time and again that when people in relationship have similar moral core values, they are more likely to stay together.

If a man ridicules something dear to your heart, surely you really have to question whether or not he’s going to be a good partner to you?

And how about this idea for novelty value: how about asking the man you love to cook something for you?

Now of course in the early days of the relationship a man will go a long way to please a woman – and that’s because men are programmed to pursue a woman, to seduce her, and win her.

And that’s very powerful for a woman because you can feel when a guy’s falling in love with you. But delightful though this may be, and a man can put a lot of effort into finding out how to please a woman, what matters is how it’s going to be after the honeymoon period.

His willingness to cook for you now, particularly if he’s not an experienced cook, might say a lot about how willing he’s going to be to help and support you in your relationship in years to come.

Not only that, but if there’s some special food which he likes, and prepares happily for you, he’s kinda sharing his heart with you, don’t you think?

As Akhil says, knowing how to make a man love you –  and knowing how to be in love – requires care and an eagerness and willingness to find “the romance in the humdrum”. And as he also rightly says, one good way to do this is to constantly share our humanity and to be grateful for who we are and what we have in our lives in every moment.